Thursday, December 6, 2007

YULE BALL PREFORMANCE TRANScript

I MOVED IT TO THE COMMENTS PART OF THIS POST
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2 comments:

SAW said...

Your mother is a *bleeps* ing *beeps* Laura Nibson *beeps* Agmentnvenium *beeps* Tragula *beeps* Hippopotamus *beeps* Republican*beeps* ing Daniel Radcliff *beeps* With a bucket of *beeps* in a castle far away where no one can hear you *beeps* soup *beeps* with a bucket of *beeps* Mickey Mouse *beeps* and a stick of dynamite *beeps* magicial *beeps* alakazam!

December 6, 2007 at 6:26 PM
SAW said...

Harry: I'm Harry Potter!
Ron: And I'm Ron!
Harry: Let's go bother Snape!
Ron: Right-o!
Snape: I am Snape, the potion's master.
Harry: Ready? Let's go bother him!
Snape: Wait!
Ron: What's the matter Snape?
Snape: You little pipsqueaks always do this!
Harry: But it's fun!
Snape: Not today Mr. Potter! If either of you touch me, I will... I'll..
Ron: What?
Harry: Yeh, what?
Snape: I will be forced to inflict upon your schoolboy bottoms the most dreadful spanking in all of wizarding history.
Harry: Okay Ron, lets go do something else!
Snape: How I dislike them.
Dumbledore: Severus, how's it going?
Snape: I am eternally depressed sir.
Dumbledore: Well, cheer the hell up or I'll have to fire you! This isn't a war Mr. Frownypants! Cheeri-o!
Snape: Hello all you children out there. Have you ever had a bad day? Have you ever had a day where it feels like a dark soul-eating cloud is *** over your head for hours? Do you know what they'd call you if everyday of your life was like that? Yes, they'd call you Snape.
*song* If you despise everyone,
and everyone despises you.
None of this surprises you,
when you are Snape.
The endless halls of this school
of witchcraft and wizardry
fill you up with misery,
when you are Snape.
Uh-huh-huh
But it's okay
to feel this way (other lyrics : to feel like Snape)
To feel so sad and grumpity
Just relax
There's no escape
At least you're in good company!
Heyyyyy!
Harry+Ron: Bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother!
Ron: Gotcha!
Snape: That's it! No more Mr. Nice Snape! Bother! Bother! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Dumbledore: What is all the hulla-baloo?
Snape: They bother me! I bothered back! It was self-defence!
Dumbledore: Harry! Ron! They're wounded Snape! You gave them boo-boos!
Snape: They were pushing my buttons sir.
Dumbledore: Kiss them and make it better!
Snape: ... what?
Dumbledore: Go on!
Snape: *kisses Ron and Harry*
Dumbledore: Okey dokey, everythings all better now! Shoo! Now upsey-daisy boys!
Harry: Uh... what happened?
Ron: Where am I?
Dumbledore: Oh you just had a couple of bumps on the noggin! So, whats up with you kids?
Harry: Oh not much. Just the usual schoolwork.
Ron: I'm failing everything!
Dumbledore: Splendid! Uh, hum, wait, isn't there another on of you somewhere?
Harry: What do you mean?
Dumbledore: A girl... your friend... Hercules?
Ron: Hermione?
Dumbledore: Yes, where is that clever young trollop?
Hermione: Here I am!
Dumbledore: Now, wonderful! So, we can begin!
Harry: Begin with what?
Dumbledore: I shall teach you all a powerful spell. An incredible, mystifying spell!
Ron: Oh boy, what could it be?
Dumbledore: Passed down from generation to generation.
Harry: Holy crap!
Dumbledore: An ancient magic, with which one can change the world!
Hermione: Well, what it is it?
Dumbledore: The spell we know as... love!
Ron: Love!
Harry: LAME!
Hermione: That's not magic!
Dumbledore: Well, it's not my fault, if nobody's ever loved any of you!
*sings* Without the spell of love,
The world would fall apart!
You don't need a wand
And magic in your hearts
All your other organs
Are a worthless bit of flab
This is in comparison to love
With love you can sing of the joy that it can bring
With love you can fly on a rainbow in the sky
With love you can dance without any pants on!
Harry: Why do all your lessons end in nudity?
Dumbledore: Apparently you've learned nothing!
Ron: Can you leave now?
Dumbledore: Yes, I suppose. Cheeri-bus! (something like that!)
Hermione: He was naked? I thought he was wearing a flesh tone leather jumpsuit!
Voldemort: I am Lord Voldemort, the most powerful Dark Wizard in the whole series... I mean world!
Ron: Oh no! What's he doing here?
Harry: He's going to murder us, like he murdered my parents and my happiness!
Voldemort: You take everything so personally, but, yep, you're right, it's murdering time!
Harry: Oh fiddlesticks!
Ron: Oh. That sucks!
Hermione: Poop!
Voldemort: Eh, alright, so you kids know about the killing curse, right?
Harry: Eh, no, my parents died of old age OF COURSE I KNOW!
Voldemort: And all you muggle kids out there know what it is, right?
Audience: YEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Voldemort: Yes, good stuff, I must say, bravo. What I want you to do is, whenever I say "Avada Kedavra", scream like you're dying, got it?... Hit it Pete!
*sings* They call me the Dark Lord Voldemort,
I'm a sucker for evil of any sort,
As long as I get to zap my foes away!
And boy, that rotten magic spell,
Sends my enemies straight to hell!
It's such a blast, I do it everyday! (thanks to teehee111 for those 3 lines!)
Okay!
Avada Kedavra! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Avada Kedavra! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Avada Kedavra! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
***
Avada Kedavra! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Avada Kedavra! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Avada Kedavra! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Killing people's never been this much fun!
*dance break*
Avada Kedavra! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Avada Kedavra! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Avada Kedavra! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Avaaaaddddaaaa KedavRAAAAAAAAAA! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
*speaks* Well,look there, it actually worked, huh! Fancy that.
Dumbledore: ...what...what..what...what...what..what...wait..wait..wait... are you killing my students?
Voldemort: Uh, no, they were like that when I got here... bye.
Dumbledore: Oh, you children, always dying! Just clean up after yourselves, alright? Toodlepip!
Snape: ... I am so taking the day off.

December 23, 2007 at 6:44 PM

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